From the heart of an Immigrant

I remember running in the forest as a little girl, I remember running over dead bodies , I remember hearing gunshots and seeing people being killed by machetes etc.. Today am thankful for being a genocide survivor, I’m forever thankful and grateful for not being apart of over a million people that lost their lives in just a month in my country. I have an accent because I am not originally from

United States, I have been here for a decade and I don’t think my accent will ever go away and I don’t want it to go away, I want my future kids to be proud of their mom having an accent as much as my American husband does (and no I didn’t become a citizen because I married an American). My accent comes from 5+ languages am proudly fluent in. I am grateful for my the family that decided to open their home to a stranger and now I call them family and wouldn’t imagine my life without them. I have worked hard to be where I am today thanks to my supportive family, I am a proud immigrant, former refuge, wife, daughter, nurse and a friend. So next time you tell someone to go back to their country, take a moment and think of me and why I left my country, think about the holocaust survivors, think of the kids being bombed daily, think of the world at large. Teach your kids about unity, love and prosperity, and maybe one day the world will live as one, as humanity and preach world peace and not separation and hatred. Start at home, show love to your neighbor, stranger. Pass love and leave love whenever and wherever you are. ❤️

Sincerely,

Eddy

KINDNESS, PASS IT ALONG

Happy New Year Everyone,

I wanted to start the new year by posting my first post of 2019. I would like to talk about kindness and how we all need to be more kind if we can. This past year many parents lost a lot of kids, some young as 8yrs old to suicide mainly due to being bullied at school. Therefore, it is my hope and wishes that we work hard on our kindness and hopefully you can save a life or two this year with your kindness. My husband and I were just talking about how we can show kindness to others this year and we decided to do some volunteering. We want our kids to be  apart of this movement but wanted to get ahead start because we want to preach what we do and not what we say. Be kind to people around you, whether it is your family/friends/coworkers, be the person people want to be around because of your kindness not popularity.  You never know if your kindness will make someone who is going through a lot reach out to you and without knowing you might save their lives. Teach your kids to speak up if they see someone being bullied, if they are not comfortable reaching out to the bully, tell them to come to you as a parent. I remember this one time I saw coworker bullying another coworker and every one around just pretended like they did not see it. I was among those people and I was like you know what, I am going to be different today and I talked to my manager about it. The person who was being bullied came and found me and thanked me for standing up for them because this particular person had been harassing them to the point they were considering quitting their job, a job they loved.  I am not trying to show off but I want to point out, that if you want to work in a great environment, sometimes you might be the one to start creating that environment. If you have friends that constantly bring you down, this year is your year to leave them behind. If you are the bully, and trust me you will know if you are one, this year is your year to turn things around. If you want a change, sometime you need to be the change. If you are struggling to fit in as you do not measure yourself to the beauty standards set up by social media, guess what? This is your year to find the beauty inside of you because beauty comes from inside of your heart not from that perfect selfie you saw!  So will you join me on this journey of discovering more kindness?

sincerely,

Eddy Tye

Finding the right life partner

How do you know he or she is the one?

Here are 6 lessons I have learned from my parents/grandparents/in-laws /aunts-uncles about finding the perfect life partner:

1. A life partner is someone who believes in your dreams even if they do not make sense to him or her. They believe in your goals/dreams because all they want to do is support you. So if your partner is the reason why you haven’t worked on your goals or dreams it’s time to have a chat and figure a way to support each other.

2. Don’t be with a person in hopes that he or she is going to change or that you are going to change them. If you are in dating someone that is mean to you or doesn’t treat you right; the reality is that marriage is not going to change that person, he or she is more likely going to treat you the same way, so the best thing you can do for you is leave that person now to avoid future regrets. If your partner is abusing you in any way (physical/sexual/emotional), you need to seek help and leave the toxic relationship. If the partner doesn’t let you leave the house, ask to go to an emergency room and ask to go to the bathroom and let staff know and they can help you get the resources you need. The reality is the abuse will never stop and you might end up losing your life so you need to find ways to get out.

3. Marriage is partnership. I repeat partnership, you both work together as a team, support each other and guide each other, treat each other with love and respect.

4. Marriage isn’t easy, there will be good and bad times. But with good ear and understanding and guidance from people that love you, you can overcome anything and everything. You just have to be willing to put work into it.

5. Treat your partner with respect, be kind to one another, seek guidance from influential people in your lives, if you don’t have any seek guidance from church/ elders/counseling. Support each other, uplift each other. Put your spouse first, not your kids, not your job, or your family.

6. Always say sorry when you are wrong, always tell your spouse you love them every chance you can, dedicate time for them for just the two of you, with love and support for each other, you can conquer anything and everything!

7. There is nothing like a perfect partner, you have to get to know someone first before you figure out if they are perfect for you! So don’t judge a book by its cover, because you never what you might miss on by judging someone from a far.

8. How did you know you found the one? Comment below

Things I didn’t learn in Nursing School

I didn’t learn this in nursing school: I’m about to have a meltdown but I know I shoudn’t….

I remember taking care of my first patient who had just received some bad news, this patient had only a week or so to live. I remember sitting outside the door and just trying so hard not to cry. This patient was so young and wasn’t even retired yet. This could have been my parent laying there. I tried to remember what I learned in nursing school about caring for patients in their last days and all I could remember was the five stages of grief. Do I pretent I didn’t hear the news and just walk in and do my job (assess, give meds, etc) then leave? Remember this was my FIRST patient ever to receive this bad news, I had no idea how I was going to react, but I knew I was a mess inside and had a job to do. The doctor happened to open the door and there I was standing right there, I quickly wiped the tears away, cleared my throat and walked in. My patient welcomed me with a smile (always did) and I could not believe they still had a smile after the devastating news. I decided to get out of my comfort zone and told them I just overhead his news and I was so sorry for all they were going through. They smiled again and nodded their face. I asked if there was something I could do in that moment, they said they wanted to be with their family but understood I had to do my job which required family to wait in the waiting room while I hang meds, etc. I decided just to stop what I was doing and have the family come back and told them to call me when they were done then I would hang the meds. I knew there was a chance of me getting in trouble for not getting the doctors finished at the scheduled time but I was ok with the punishment but if I was told I only have a few days to live, I would want my family by my side. That was almost three years ago and I still remember that day like it was yesterday, I still struggle with patients getting bad news because I wanted to go into medical field to help people get better, take care of them and send them home. But unfortunately that is the reality we live in. When I switched my career from inpatient to emergency, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I found myself going from drinking one glass of wine every once in a while to three glasses a week or daily, and I have only been in the ER less than a year, so imagine for people that have been here for a while and are using alcohol to cope with the stress that comes with the job. That is why it is so important to find something to help with stresss relief, if its working out, reading ,you need to find something before you ruin your life or become an alcoholic. Most importantly, we as nurses need to be kind and welcoming to new nurses, especially the ones right out of nursing school, you were in their shoes at some point, lets be honest you learned what you know because someone took their time and patience and taught you how to. Do not be the nurse criticizing someone because they do not how to do things, be the nurse teaching that person how to be good at whatever skills they are lacking. Keep an eye on your coworkers that might be struggling with dealing with work stress or others factors, and help them seek appropriate care. Together when can make healthcare a better place but taking care of us first. Last but not least, be thankful for the health you have, be thankful you do not have a chronic illness like diabetes or high blood pressure for example because these two illnesses are just a disaster waiting to happen if not appropriately managed. Be thankful you and your loved one are not the ones getting the bad news, being thankful more often will make you realize how blessed you and be more appreciative of what you have and keep you humbled.

Till next time,

Nurse Eddy

TRADITIONAL AFRICAN WEDDING SERIES:RWANDA

African traditional wedding series: Rwanda

Welcome to the African traditional wedding series. This week we are going to learn more about the Rwandan traditional wedding. The traditional wedding is meant to be the time the family of the bride and the groom meet each other as well ask permission to get married and the groom pays dowry to the bride’s family. It’s a very colorful festivity to attend. The future bride dresses up in a very colorful outfit along with a group of friends. The friends carry gifts with them to give to the future groom. The bride also carries milk in a special traditional jar, and gives it to the groom to drink. The groom pays dowry in a form of either money, cow or farming products. The acceptance of the dowry also means the bride’s family is ok with their daughter getting married which happens in a civil/church ceremony just as a typical American wedding. The traditional ceremony also includes eating traditional food as well as well as famous Rwandan tradition dancers! Check out some pictures below

Famous Rwandan dancers aka intore❤️
Famous Rwandan Dance tradition
Bride in middle in all blue and her tribe

The cake though😮 @mungeli
@mungeli and her tribe
The groom and his bride❤️ @mungeli
@mungeli future hubby ready for the day
@mungeli future groom smiling and ready
Groom and his tribe